The Outcome Of Love
Over time , I had the feeling , as if a rabid beast within me eat greedy . Every day repeating the past . Brushing my teeth , go to work , drekoja I took my walk , have sex , sleep . And again repeat itself every day life . It seemed ego , clinging like a thread of straw , like the river I was furious rain storms of life . My husband , as always, covered with love and care . Every free second , spent with me .As always , again , I was left alone . The only connection to me , was the family . Sometime - parents , now - husband . I felt as a force cosmonauts in space without seriousness .I started hanging out with colleagues . My husband was transfigured . It refrigerate . After several warnings silent , a day declared : "We should not associate with anyone . Do not be enough I ? " I said that I was being social . Laughed . " When did you do it? You have never been friends of friends . "Oh my God ! From a wardship , on the other . I had to be the leaders in udhëhiqesha psychopaths ! I was not anyone's property and knowingly , I said " yes" desire for a new connection . And the first who dared asked me to co darkonim became my boyfriend . Marrosesha started after him . Let's call it X. It was a little younger than me, smiling , full of life , passion and energy .Forgive me more of yourself . No more caressing . I needed to , so as to air . Motels were a second home for us . Parents threatened me , advised me , but they do not already exist , as there was not even my husband . Nature had color , no stripes glasses . I liked the sun . House looked grave . Husband - gravedigger . Xi was my life , the only bridge that connected with existence . Of course, my husband learned this very quickly . We broke up . My house became the home of the X's . We lived like in the movies : lots of fun , love . Until
, one day , when I returned from service prematurely , in my bed , I
found the daughter of the minister of the department where Xi worked . Oh god ! Ç'faj punishes have done that ? Parents gave me speak . X -i Do not do. I have friends . Sister not. Why my life so it ? Was built by ç'materiali am I ? Why not mesh dot in life ? Why not forget ? Why not forgive ?I spent two months in hospital after a serious depression . When
I came out , I learned that parents , after learning about my disease ,
was launched with a plane which remained with 100 passengers , in the
mountains of Switzerland . Inherited a fat bank account , a small factory and two houses . You will ask :"
What happened with X -in ? " After leaving the hospital and finished
the formalities of the property , but he began to ask dodge . Within me , love , it was transformed . I do not know that ç'ndieja . Chest on seethed , as head çahej gave me pain, back world without color . There was only one . But ... he gave me like ... ! After a brief meeting in the cinema and after the statement: " You are
not a nobody to me," hatred of all who had gathered inside , the
particles shpërndrë millions around the world , gathered within a single
moment and exploded ....
One night , after being split from new girlfriend on the first floor of
the palace , in the utter darkness of January , a charming thikëz
pierced his heart . Not killed me! No ! My
pain killed him , he killed him " small self " that tries to emerge
from the ruins of " self " that shkallmon ribs , which snapped tendons ,
which GRIC face yank hair . He does not deserve to live . I went home and burned the painting paid the first night of love . Want to know how it was ?A female ... ( I ) , inflamed sky , his face pale sky Tied crumbling . I
, ( the painting ) with a thikëz in hand , but hope to live slaughter ,
(of course , since I shoot air painting that was invisible shresa ) . Even remember who wrote poetry as a poet saw :The whole tears ,As the comb onhair ,Without you ,world ,looks miserable ...For the firstonce again,Latest birdof hope ,The butcher ... !If I knew that , I, along with hope , will slaughter ...Oh my God ! It was not me , was the "I " im crazy ... !Disappointed , we order every day different lines , but not with my
car because coaches want to see people laugh , suffer , live ...Sleep
in different cities , or rather trying to sleep because I have no sleep
, no dreams , no ghosts makbethiane.Rend in different hotels with
different men , but even then they find peace . I find no reason or cause to live . You would say : " You are free " . Take my freedom , it does not apply . It is linen provided . Because I 'm both . Ramp
, bump , thërrmohem not know to whom I belong , " large unit " or "
small unit " that writhes under the ruins of what were ... I do not know
!